A while ago, I had a brief online conversation with someone who had claimed that “cakes are done, people are finished”. The conversation, if it can be called such, had three exchanges: I sent a link explaining why this is distinction is utter hokum, the respondent agreed and resolved that she would not complain about it anymore, and then she tweeted another unexplained claim that something else was ungrammatical.
More recently, I found a column starting out thus:
“I’ve always had a problem with split infinitives. That is, I seem to always be guilty of writing them. My publisher […] used to always correct me. I would argue with him that the sentence doesn’t sound right when it’s grammatically correct. […] Like my former publisher, I have my own grammatical pet peeves”
Meet the new boss, same as the old boss.
These situations are one of the more frustrating types of interactions I have with the grammatically inclined. Sure, many of them won’t listen to reason at all, and keep on insisting that, e.g., split infinitives are killing English, no matter how much evidence you amass against that point. That kind of person is easy to recognize and their conversations easy to excuse oneself from. But there’re also a lot of people who will listen to reason, agree that one of their most firmly held grammatical convictions is invalid, and then unquestioningly bring up another one. Grammar rules, in their minds, are valid until proven invalid.
These are the conversations I can’t extricate myself from. I want to stay and disprove each next claim in the hopes that eventually they’ll recognize that they ought to scrutinize their beliefs. But that scrutiny never comes. “Oh, this rule’s wrong? Well, surely this one isn’t. It is? Well, surely this one isn’t. It is? Well…”
It’s twisting Occam’s Razor on its head; it’s grabbing a piece of candy from a bowl, tasting it and hating it, and then grabbing another; it’s burning one’s hand on a kettle, then touching the burner to see if it’s hot too.
It’s all nonsense. The assumption that new rules are valid is bad because there’s nothing to prevent the excessive proliferation of rules. Then again, perhaps that’s the point. Anyone can learn to use English standardly, but it takes dedication to go through and learn an ever-expanding set of rules that don’t square with the language you’ve used your entire life. Doing that surely proves one’s intelligence.*
If there’s only one thing you ever take from this blog, I hope it’s a spirit of grammatical skepticism, both toward what other people tell you and what you tell yourself. If someone says you’re speaking ungrammatically, I hope you look into whether they’re right, and ask them why they think they are. And if you think someone else’s grammar is wrong, I hope you look into whether you know as much as you think you do about language.
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*: Lest I be too dismissive, there is one good reason to accept rules until they’re proven wrong: concern that adherents to the rules will think you stupid.
7 comments
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August 16, 2012 at 9:49 am
gelolopez
Reblogged this on Musings of a Demented Little Boy and commented:
I have been practicing skepticism for a long time but seeing something like a grammatical skepticism is something new to me. That’s why I love this blog. Highly recommended to grammar nazis and those who are always terrorized by self-professed grammar scholars.
August 16, 2012 at 9:50 am
Stan
Joseph Conrad, in his author’s note to The Secret Agent, wrote: “Man may smile and smile but he is not an investigating animal. He loves the obvious. He shrinks from explanation.”
August 16, 2012 at 9:51 am
gelolopez
You have some really interesting insights. Never fails to make me wondering.
Well, should I met your blog months ago, I would have been fired for arguing with a superior. Hahaha. Cheers!
PS: How can I follow you on twitteR?
August 16, 2012 at 10:04 am
Jonathon
“The assumption that new rules are valid is bad because there’s nothing to prevent the excessive proliferation of rules.”
Amen! It’s a Sisyphean task to get people to recognize that if the validity of one rule can be questioned, then the validity of all rules can be (and should be) questioned.
August 16, 2012 at 10:13 am
Nita
Do you think I am reading your blog because I want to be told that I (of all people) could be wrong? Well, I am actually. You didn’t do it today, but you may.
August 16, 2012 at 7:42 pm
Laura
I’ve found that many people who profess to adhere to the rules of grammar don’t actually know what they mean. Recently a friend was ranting about the proliferation of split infinitives and gave this example: The movie was instantly forgotten. He was convinced that there was a grammatical error in the sentence because the adverb was splitting an infinitive.
August 17, 2012 at 5:21 am
Eugene
Skeptics should be ready with planned responses to grammatical peeves. How about: 1) “What, exactly, is wrong with it?” and 2) “Which usage guide did you consult about it?”